raindecision

I am aching to do something other than what I am doing tonight. I don't want to drive anywhere or have to get home at a certain hour. Every time I have gone anywhere since I became a parent I have spent the first half of my time out thinking about the baby and the second half wondering if it was a bad thing that I wasn't thinking about the baby. I'll probably end up putting make up on and sitting around scheming and then get too tired and lazy to actually motivate. c'est la vie.

tall glass of dysfunction

our relationship is forming bumps under my skin,

flaking from my scalp

churning in my colon

aching in my jaw

floating in and out of my field of vision

i may not survive being your child

to come out the other side of this unscathed would be a feat of rebirth

i am cramped and crawling mad as hell through this cramped space

blindly trusting that my air supply wont be cut off by your overbearing pressure

you may not survive being my mother

damp with perspiration and gasping for breath

slurring to be understood through a medicated fog

regret leaves you hemorrhaging

journey and urinal cake

seems its been so long since we drank to the sunset until it was dawn..
musty rafters whispering of your sunkissed youth drop flecks of underwear lint onto our pretty little heads. and we are 21 again, arm in arm shouting to the stars, our tongues alkaline in the summer air. we are holding each other, unabashedly awkward on your freshly laundered quilt
wracked with hangover reading "jackie o!" aloud and cursing our inevitable impending shift..